Hell hath no fake fury like a blogosphere confronted with Madonna trying to adopt an orphan from the Motherland. It’s as if the Material Mama were some winged she-devil sweeping down on Malawi, armed with moneybags and hell-bent on stealing cute, little black babies. The horror!
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And so it is with glee that bloggers are reacting to the news that a Malawian judge denied Madonna’s request to adopt Chifundo “Mercy” James, a preschool-aged girl whose mother died in childbirth. (Madonna is appealing the verdict.) “LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED,” blared the “breaking news” headline on TMZ, “Madonna Denied—Buy Your Babies Elsewhere!!” Then there was this little missive from Nique on Bossip, “Good. This heffa needs to worry about getting her life together. Tired of these white folks using these african (sic) kids like accessories!”
Even Saturday Night Live got into the act, depicting Madonna as a frozen-faced, baby-snatching zombie: “I love babies. But I especially love getting babies in crazy places … and Malawi is pretty much the most exotic place to get a baby, a fancy, spicy exotic brown baby. … I’m saving the world, one tiny exotic baby at a time.”
No doubt about it, Madonna’s out-sized, on-display life—from the Kabbalah and yoga to the messy divorce to the baby-faced boy toys—makes her a lightning rod for both our fantasies and hostilities. She is; therefore, we mock.
Teresa Wiltz is The Root’s senior culture writer.
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