Larry Wilmore doesn’t mince words, but men across the country are mincing their penises by accidentally shooting them off with guns. During Monday night’s Nightly Show, Wilmore suggested that maybe, if more men start to shoot off their penises with guns, better gun control laws will happen.
Wilmore joked about a white South Dakota man who blamed a black man for shooting him, but in reality the man had accidentally shot himself in the penis while he was purchasing a gun illegally.
“Since he was involved in illegal activity, he made up a story about getting robbed and blamed a black guy, but it turned out the one black guy in South Dakota was visiting relatives in Chicago,” Wilmore quipped. “So, like his [d—k], this guy’s story had an extra hole.”
But the South Dakota guy isn’t the only one going around accidentally shooting off his genitalia. A man in Washington thought his neighbor was being robbed by imaginary Mexicans and tried to help, but he ended up shooting himself in the balls. But there was no robbery; he was actually going through a two-day methamphetamine binge.
Then another man in Brooklyn, N.Y., who was urinating in the street shot himself in the groin while trying to get rid of his gun when police approached him. First, why are you urinating in the street? And why wouldn’t you just tuck your stuff back into your pants and get your ticket and go about your day?
These acts of men shooting themselves in their genitalia led Wilmore to the belief that eventually gun control laws would be enacted to protect the penises of the world.
Holly Walker, a contributor on The Nightly Show, hoped the penis shootings would bring about gun-law changes.
“It’s fantastic,” Walker said. “Finally, we’re going to have gun control.”
“Maybe the way to gun control is through the fleshy stump where a man’s [d—k] used to be,” Walker said. She also went on to say that lawmakers “can’t wrap their heads around mass shootings, no matter how tragic.”
“What they can wrap their heads around is the possibility they can shoot off their own [d—ks],” she said.
Take a look at the hilarious clip below.