Becoming a parent can be one of the happiest moments of a person’s life. But with that job comes great responsibility – and a whole lot of advice you didn’t ask for. If you’re not careful, all of that noise can slowly seep into your subconscious and make you feel guilty about every decision you make, from whether or not to breastfeed to the brand of stroller you ultimately choose. Actress and new mom Keke Palmer is learning all of this for herself.
Last month, the mom of one-year-old Leo asked the internet for advice on dealing with her son being pushed on the playground. But it seems she’s realized that all it takes is a few overzealous people to mess it up for everyone, and she asked all of the armchair parenting experts in an August 18 Instagram video to keep their unsolicited advice to themselves.
“Stop scaring the shit out of mothers! A nervous anxiety-ridden mother is what that encourages instead of genuine community and support on the basis of knowing God holds sovereignty. If you are doing your best you’re doing enough!!!,” she tagged her post.
“Every mom can’t breastfeed,” Palmer says in her video. “Every mom doesn’t want to breastfeed. Every mom can’t afford formula. Everyone can’t afford the car seat that said it was 555. Y’all gotta stop with that.”
The more than 140,000 likes and loads of comments prove that parents everywhere appreciate our girl Keke for saying the quiet part out loud.
“Alllll of this. We all parent differently. More demure PLEASE. I BEG,” wrote one person.
Other celebrity moms also took the opportunity to thank Palmer in the comments for speaking out.
“AMEN,” wrote singer/actress Halle Bailey.
“All of this!” cosigned “Orange is the New Black” star Uzo Aduba.
Rather than making parents feel bad about their choices, Palmer suggests showing support and encouragement. She ends her video with a few words of support of her own for parents who are doing their best.
“If you wanna help somebody pray for them, wish them well, show them love. Don’t go on their page using some privileged measure of what it takes to be a good mom,” she said. “[Because] you know what it really takes to be a good mom? Loving your child.”