Jada Pinkett Smith’s new memoir, Worthy, is out today and has folks on social media up in arms for several reasons. Following the release of the book’s excerpts and high profile interviews with People, The Today Show and The New York Times, some strongly believe that the actress is being too candid about her personal life.
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Others think Jada is publicly emasculating her husband Will Smith–who apparently suffers in silence–as some sort of cheap cash grab. But perhaps the most disturbing commentary is about the star’s ability to “control” Will.
This narrative has followed Jada for years, though she knows the particular vitriol she faces is more severe as a Black woman. When asked by The Root if she’s ready for the public to receive Worthy, Jada’s response is simple and honest.
“Listen–at this point what else could the public say about me?” she asks with a slight laugh. “I wrote this book with such beautiful intentions and I’m writing the book for those people…I’m not writing the book for anybody who wants to be messy with it, you know what I’m saying? That’s just the world we live in…you can’t avoid that anymore–certain people are gonna do what they’re gonna do.”
Some of those people are Black folks, who have arguably been the most outspoken when it comes to voicing disdain for Jada and Will’s marriage. There have been a slew of rumors which have plagued the couple since the start of their union, like whether they were swingers or chose to engage in polyamory.
Those rumors were seemingly proven true in 2020 when August Alsina publicly announced that he had dated Jada while she was married. Alsina also claimed that Will had given the pair his blessing. The revelation resulted in a special episode of her hit show Red Table Talk that same year, where she and Will sat across from each other to talk openly about the tryst.
Jada infamously dubbed her and Alsina’s relationship an “entanglement,” and it even has its own chapter in Worthy. As she reflects on her decision to address everything so publicly, Jada set herself up for a whirlwind of backlash and hate. Like many women, she says she was more concerned with protecting everyone involved but herself.
“At the time I felt like ‘Okay, if this is the narrative that is needed to help Will get through this I’m willing to do that.’ I felt that it was my mess so it was my hit to take. Even though we weren’t together, I just wanted to make sure he was okay. And then I realized… I was like ‘Oh man, you did it again. This is your codependency on like 10,000. You martyred yourself.
“Once again, you left yourself on the side of the road to make sure somebody else was okay.’ I needed that extreme circumstance to see that particular area of woundedness in myself. I felt like that particular episode was gonna get me closer to the truth of what I wanted to be versus not saying anything and just kind of going on with life.”
Jada soon realized that she would be labeled by the public as a philandering and manipulative partner who left Will out to dry. Though the couple has been separated since 2016, this disparaging image followed her to the 2022 Oscars where Will would stun the world and slap Chris Rock for making a distasteful joke about Jada’s hair. Not only did fans blame her for Will’s actions, but Rock also held her responsible for being hit in his Selective Outrage Netflix comedy special.
“Years ago, [Will’s] wife said I should quit the Oscars. I shouldn’t host ‘cause her man didn’t get nominated for Concussion. And then he gives me a f***ing concussion,” Rock stated. He then said that the comment he made about Jada’s hair was in retaliation, which led to the violent altercation between Chris and Will. “That’s how it is – she starts it, I finish it, OK? That’s what the f*** happened. Nobody’s picking on her. She started this s***.”
Jada says that she resents being villainized but knows why folks were quick to reach that conclusion. “I didn’t agree [to be blamed], but I understood because I had to look at the part that I played. I sat at the Table as if I was an adulterous wife and that [Will] had been forced to come to the Table and sit there. We went to the Oscars with everybody believing this false narrative, this false idea that I had forced Will to sit at the Table and be a part of this entanglement when that wasn’t the case. I wasn’t an adulterous wife.”
Jada continues, becoming more passionate as she speaks. “We hadn’t been together since 2016, but I decided to take that on. So of course, once he got on stage everybody was like ‘We’ve never seen him do anything like that. Jada made him do it. She made him do something again.’ Whether the Red Table would’ve happened or not, I probably still would’ve gotten blamed but I don’t know if it would’ve been in full force like that. I have to tell you–it was crazy.”
According to Jada, people had already made up their minds: She was the bad guy. “It wasn’t like anybody was even willing to hear another option. How about this: Where is [Will’s] autonomy whether at the Table or walking up on that stage? All of a sudden a woman who is seemingly so irrelevant is now culpable for everything–as if this powerful man didn’t have any power of his own. It was really fascinating and quite a social study for me, to be honest with you.”
Despite being continuous fodder for gossip and social media sites, Jada relishes in her ability to be transparent. “I have remorse about things, but I don’t have regrets. I think for me…that’s how I choose to live but I’m not saying that anybody else should choose to live that way. And as transparent as people think that I am–I’m still holding a whole lot back,” she explains.
Jada has no problem elaborating when asked to delve deeper into what she means. “Here’s the thing: what I’m offering seems as though it’s so transparent and it is but there’s so much more,’’ she clarifies. “So to me, it doesn’t seem as much as somebody else who might be looking at it.
“I’m like ‘Oh, okay, that’s a breadcrumb right there.’ Even at the Red Table, I’ve revealed one layer of the curtain. Now in the book…it’s just another curtain that I’m pulling back. But there’s hundreds of curtains to pull back.”
Writing Worthy, she believes, ultimately changed how she views relationships overall.
“This book is the curriculum of me learning …how to love myself and other people at the same time. I don’t have to choose. I don’t have to choose to love you more than I love myself and I don’t have to choose to love myself and abandon you. A lot of times in relationships, that’s what we feel like we have to do.”
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