Okay, tell the truth. How many of you have made promises to yourselves over the years on that first day of January? I bet all hands are raised. Next: how many of you can honestly say you have fulfilled whatever it is you promised you would do? Don’t see so many hands now, huh?
I want to give you some advice on what not to pledge this year so that you can possibly live up to whatever you want for yourself. Ready?
Do not pledge to lose an exorbitant amount of weight
You won’t do it! How do I know? I’ve made that commitment too. Doesn’t work. I spoke to a motivational coach recently, Dimyas Perdue, author of Elevation Requires Change. He said the reason these resolutions don’t work is that rather than focusing on the outcome, we have to focus on the WHY, the reason we want the outcome. So, rather than wanting to lose weight, perhaps you want to be healthy. Align with the WHY and win!
Stop with the vague resolutions
The “I want to find a partner,” pledge is not specific enough. If any old body will do that’s what you will end up with. How many times have you said you want companionship only to be hooked up with someone who misses the mark. Instead of being general, this is the time to make your wish list. What qualities does your dream partner have? What values? What interests? What desires for the future? Also, make the list of what qualities you hate. List them specifically so that you notice them as red flags when they pop up.
Don’t make a resolution that’s someone else’s dream for you
Avoid peer pressure, parental muscling or on-the-job jockeying that pushes you in a direction that doesn’t match with your interests or desires. Put on your big-girl/big-boy pant(ie)s and own up to what you want. You get one life. Don’t make the mistake of trying to live out somebody else’s vision for you.
Don’t state your commitment and expect it to miraculously manifest on its own
Do the work. If you really want something, roll up your sleeves and do what it takes to make it happen. That means, make a clear plan with steps that you map out to reach your goal. Identify incremental things you can do to create small victories along the way. This will help you to stay motivated especially when it feels like you will never reach your goal.
Don’t give up once you reach a roadblock
So what, you allowed inertia to take over at the beginning of the year. Wake yourself up and take action now. Don’t beat yourself up for what you haven’t done. Pick a task and do it. It could be taking a walk, writing a book proposal, investing in a professional development course, saving for a vacation or to buy a home. Whatever your dream is, stick with it. Why? Because you are worth it!