It finally happened.
After a week or so of watching Steph Curry play an atypical, sloppy brand of hoops that included forcing grisly treys from either Uranus or Neptune (astronomy isn’t my ministry, so maybe it was actually Saturn), the shackles of being THIS close to breaking Ray Allen’s record for all-time three-pointers have mercifully been removed.
Take a bow, Black man:
We are all witnesses.
Well, actually no; I wasn’t because I was preoccupied with blasting Alexander O’Neal’s “Sleigh Ride” while scouring the streets of Los Angeles for Christmas lights. But I was there in spirit, and when my son grows up and asks, “So what was it like to watch Steph Curry officially become the greatest shooter of all time?” I’ll just lie and be like, “OMG! It was amazing!”
Obviously, the Babyfaced Assassin breaking this record is kind of a big goddamn deal, so NBA greats (and fellow flamethrowers from behind the arc) Ray Allen and Reggie Miller were kind of enough to put on their Sunday best and pull up to the function:
Even Spike Lee abandoned his long-standing New York Knicks superstardom for a night in order to kiss the pinky ring and worship his Lord and savior Steph Curry:
It was also dope to see Steph give the game ball to his dad Dell, who in a past life was one of my favorite players on the Charlotte Bobcats Hornets:
That wasn’t the only gift the three-time NBA champ handed out, either. After the Warriors beat the Knicks 105-96, Steph hit his longtime teammates Draymond Green and Andre Iguodala with Rollies:
I don’t recall anyone from The Root ever buying me a Rollie, but whatever. Vengeance will be mine come Christmas morning.
Here’s what Steph’s coach and some of his teammates had to say about the 33-year-old shooting his way into the record books:
“I thought the night was perfect,” Warriors coach Steve Kerr told reporters after the game. “It just pretty much encapsulated who he is and his reaction to it was perfect.”
“Steph is the best to ever shoot a basketball and we get the opportunity to go to work with him every day and it’s a very special thing,” Green said.
It was the Davidson product who had the best quote, however. When a reporter jokingly asked him after the game who Steph would say is the greatest shooter of all time now (SPOILER WARNING: There is only one correct answer), the two-time NBA MVP kept it short and sweet.
“I got that, baby,” he said.
Congrats, Steph. The big piece of chicken is all yours, kind sir.