Books on the White House are becoming the struggle rapper mixtapes from the 1990s or the podcasts of now—everyone has one. But if this newest book is even remotely true, then Kellyanne Conway is the “number one leaker” in President Donald Trump’s White House.
Which would be both troubling and amazing.
Troubling only because Kellyanne Conway has been the one constant force in Trump’s Buick Elektra-ass White House. She’s basically the Puff Daddy of the White House. She’s on all the songs and in all the videos. She’s also the go-to liar deployed to squash all the rumors that emerge from the White House. If she is the leaker, that would mean that she’s feeding the information to the press and then coming on national television to shoot the rumor down, which, would make her extremely brilliant, because nothing says I’m not the leaker like jumping up to combat the leak.
Or maybe she’s just an insane psychopath.
If Kellyanne has been the leaker all this time then this might mean that she’s secretly been doing the Lord’s work. According to biblical scripture, the lord’s best angel was named Kellyanne. (She was the one who cleaned up the mess from the choir scandal that got Lucifer kicked off the men’s chorus.)
Anyway, Ronald Kessler, the author of The Trump White House: Changing the Rules of the Game, recently published a passage from the book in Vanity Fair. In the excerpt, Kessler explained that he discovered Conway was the leaker because she is too old to know how to use modern technology:
Kessler explained that he discovered that Conway leaks more than a rusty faucet when she asked him to type a statement, writing:
I had not brought my work laptop upstairs with me when she called, so Kellyanne pointed over to her personal MacBook sitting on the conference table on the other side of the room. “Just use that and type something up for me,” she said.
I sat down and started slowly pecking out a statement. While working in the White House, I found that I’d grown so accustomed to writing in Trump’s voice that writing for other people had become somewhat harder than it normally would have been. I was already getting off to a slow start, but I was also getting distracted by the nonstop stream of iMessages popping up on the screen. At that point, personal phones had not yet been banned in the West Wing, so Kellyanne was sitting at her desk texting away. And since her iMessage account was tied to both her phone and her laptop, which she must not have even considered, I could inadvertently see every conversation she was having.
Over the course of 20 minutes or so, she was having simultaneous conversations with no fewer than a half-dozen reporters, most of them from outlets the White House frequently trashed for publishing “fake news.” Journalists from The New York Times, The Washington Post, CNN, Politico, and Bloomberg were all popping up on the screen. And these weren’t policy conversations, or attempts to fend off attacks on the president. As I sat there trying to type, she bashed Jared Kushner, Reince Priebus, Steve Bannon, and Sean Spicer, all by name.
But that isn’t all, Kessler also told CNN’s Jake Tapper that Ivanka and her husband, Jared Kushner, are problems for Trump and he knows it.
In his book, which was released Tuesday, Kessler writes: “In the end, Jared and Ivanka would push the most disastrous and foolish decisions of Trump’s presidency ... they had no understanding of the basic fundamentals of how government works, how a campaign works, how politics works. Most of all, they had no understanding of the political consequences of their actions,” CNN reports.
Kessler told Tapper that the pair “pushed the firing of Comey, which was disastrous,” and were instrumental in the hiring of Anthony Scaramucci, the White House’s former communications director, which Kessler called “the most absurd hire in the history of the White House.”
Kessler noted that while the president knows that his daughter and son-in-law are problems, he’s stuck with them because they’re family and he isn’t going to fire family.