While many of us believe that Donald Trump Jr. is just an inbred walking reindeer hoof whose flirting techniques include making bacon jokes about a woman’s vagina, and we are right, it turns out that he may still have been quite the ladies’ man.
News broke late Monday that Trump Jr. had an affair with former Danity Kane singer Aubrey O’Day during her appearance on season 5 of his father’s show Celebrity Apprentice in 2011. Now, and I really don’t know how anyone found this out, O’Day had a song called “DJT” on her 2013 album, Between Two Evils. The song is a “sultry” track in which an unnamed man breaks it to O’Day that there is no way he’s leaving her to return to his family.
“I thought it was forever at the time, but maybe I was lying to myself,” the man says, Page Six reports.
“You want to believe that everything with me was a lie? A fantasy? And you want to go back and live in the life that you had—have—forever?” O’Day replies.
“I’ll always want you and I’ll always wonder about it, but it doesn’t matter because I have to stay here,” he says before adding that he’s “torn between two worlds.”
Now, let’s investigate this further. The song is titled “DJT.” Trump Jr.’s full name is Donald John Trump Jr. The song is about a man who loves a woman but can’t be with her because he’s got another life.
That’s it; investigation over. Of course this shit is about Donald John Trump Jr. Have you seen Aubrey O’Day? Have you heard her speak? She’s not the sharpest plastic knife in the box. And we all know that Donald Trump Jr. is a few oranges short of a full sack. It’s kind of why I wanted them to be together, and maybe there is still hope, since earlier this month Trump Jr.’s wife, Vanessa, filed for divorce.
Page Six notes that Trump Jr.’s dad learned about the affair and told his son to “knock it off,” which is shocking because I would’ve assumed that he would’ve smacked him on the back and given him an “Attaboy!”
You can listen to the song below and try not to stab your ears off.