In the Age of Trump, you can’t help be pessimistic about the future. There’s something nasty about this new age. A nastiness—even when we kick that cheating bastard out of office—that will cling to us black folks like a sweaty, funky shirt.
Trump’s racism, xenophobia, and general stupidity are leaking into the genius of Blackness. And a new generation of black hucksters, with their internet megaphones, are taking advantage. The future for black folks is always bright, but be sure, there are some negroes who are trying to put shades on that future with their myopia. For real...stay woke...with no irony.
Here are my predictions for 2020:
1. Russia will amplify #ADOS...and then #ADOS will implode
Remember when you’d find your parents’ old “Ballot or the Bullet” vinyl record, and you’d hear Malcolm X talk about ‘so-called negroes?’ Yeah, them so-called negroes now go by the hashtag #ADOS, and I can’t express to you how much I despise these simpin’ ass so-called negroes.
Nothing is more ahistorical than black folks embracing a white supremacist notion of blackness, centered around...wait for it...having been enslaved. And the most common reason why these so-called negroes want to exclude other black folks from throughout the diaspora?
Some African—one of the 1.2 billion on this planet—was mean to them. Once. In college. Or they heard that they didn’t like Black people in America. Or something like that.
Yeah. That’s it. Purdy much.
But these so-called negroes are loud and shit, so people pay attention to them. They’ve tried to hijack the reparations movement and got a hard-on when fellow nutcase presidential candidate Marianne Williamson mentioned reparations on the debate stage. So that, of course, makes them the perfectly useful idiots for the Russians. Watch as the Russians start spending big money to back #ADOS inspired ‘Don’t Vote’ propaganda via Black Twitter.
So that’s the bad news. The good news? I fully expect #ADOS to implode as folks in the movement break off to monetize it for their own personal benefit. #ADOS T-shirts! #ADOS Conventions! #ADOS CBD products!
And at some point, the unfortunate black folks who got duped into believing in a myopic, stupid, damaging, destructive, and did I mention dumb, hashtag movement, will learn that to love black people you must learn to love all black people. LEARN...TO...LOVE...ALL...BLACK...PEOPLE!
The movement against white supremacy ain’t got time for so-called negroes who only want to fight for ‘certain’ black folks. Situational Blackness is a simp’s philosophy.
Don’t be a simp.
2. Uncle Joe for President, Kamala for VP...and they’ll win comfortably
Look. Y’all president is an evil muthafucka, but we ain’t got time to trip. I’d love Liz Warren to win because I think she’s dope, and I think Joe Biden is aging faster than most white people, but when it comes to the church-going, old black folks—the ones who make up a huge part of the electorate—Biden is the dude. Kamala got all the baggage when it comes to putting black folks in jail, but that ain’t ever really been a reason why white folks didn’t vote for someone.
But I think the combo of Joe and Kamala will dust the Mango Mussolini in the swing states of the Midwest. Is it my perfect ticket? Hell no. But sometimes you gotta go with what helps you win. That’s all I care about. Win.
3. The Russians will drop that Trump Mix Tape before the election
We all know that Putin holds Trump by his very short and curlies, so let’s not kid ourselves. When someone holds them jewels, it’s only a matter of time before they squeeze, and squeeze hard.
Watch as the Russians decide that they’ve had enough fun with their stooge, and dump a whole buncha pissy docs on some Washington Post/New York Times desk, and we’ll see everything connected to his nefarious financial dealings, including money laundering and racketeering. Just in time for his post-presidential life...
Can’t wait.
4. The rise of unapologetic black rural towns
Forget Buying Back the Block, I see 2020 as being the year when black folks start investing in purchasing whole small towns. Call it reverse gentrification or whatever, but black folks are going to purchase small towns throughout the Midwest and South at rock bottom prices.
We’ve seen black creative co-working spaces spring up in every city (I’m a partner in The Metaphor Club in Los Angeles, for full disclosure), but that’s creating space in a white ecosystem. In a world that is increasingly hostile to black space, the 21st Century version of the Exodusters are ready to pounce.
5. The black wellness movement goes big black business
There’s a groundswell moving black wellness from the edges to the capitalistic forefront, as you’ll see more black therapists start to franchise their services. I predict that you’ll see services being advertised in the same way you can find an injury lawyer. And that’s a good thing.
Get well. Stay well. Be alive.