I Played Grand Theft Auto V Nightly for 3 Years. Here’s a List of Things I Never Did as a Result

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Image for article titled I Played Grand Theft Auto V Nightly for 3 Years. Here’s a List of Things I Never Did as a Result
Photo: Rockstar Games

In trying to shift the blame of white domestic terrorism from the actual white people committing it and the “president” who champions and enables it, there has been a lot of talk about the dangers of video games.

Listen.

I played one of the most violent video games, Rockstar’s Grand Theft Auto V online, nightly for three years. And when I tell you I played? I fucking played. I was a troll. I’d get on there and grief people regularly if I wasn’t doing missions, selling dope or playing survival with my girl Carter.

Advertisement

As violent as the activities that I virtually participated in were, I somehow managed to play the game and never do any of the following in real life:

  1. I have never stood on top of the Beverly Center and used a rocket launcher to take out the police and their helicopters.
  2. I have never stood on the pier at Santa Monica beach and sniped people with a long-range rifle.
  3. I have never blown anyone’s car up.
  4. I have never blown open an armored truck with a sticky bomb and then stolen all the money inside of it.
  5. I have never randomly walked up to a stranger on the street and stabbed them multiple times for no reason.
  6. I have never led the police on a chase that resulted in the armed forces getting involved with tanks and shit.
  7. I have never escaped said car chase by pulling into a body shop and having the color of my car altered.
  8. I have never robbed a bank.
  9. I have never stolen a helicopter, flown it over the city and randomly blown people up for no reason other than my own petty amusement.
  10. I have never even had the thought of committing a mass shooting in real life no matter how entertaining it is when I do it with video game characters.
Advertisement

I have played every iteration of the Grand Theft Auto franchise since the first one came out. I have never even been tempted to try and steal a car.

In other words, your “president” and everyone else using this as an excuse is full of shit.