If you would’ve told me I’d be living in a world where Idris Elba wasn’t even considered the top five Sexiest Men Alive in the UK, I’d tell you you were a liar straight out the pits of hell.
But that’s exactly what world I’m living in thanks to the recently released 2024 list of the UK’s Sexiest Men Alive where, in a shocking twist, British journalist Jeremy Clarkson took the top spot. Immediately following were: Marvel star Tom Holland, Prince William, Gareth Southgate, Cillian Murphy (who’s Irish by the way) and, in spot number six, Idris Elba.
*deep, heavy, Negro spiritual sigh*
What in the entire hell is this?! Number six? Have y’all seen Idris Elba? I mean, really, have you all gotten a good look with both eyes at the beautiful man that is Idris Elba? Since the very first time us folks here in America saw him as Stringer Bell in “The Wire,” we’ve had a longstanding para-social love affair.
It’s the reason why his current wife Sabrina Dhowre Elba hilariously acquiesced and acknowledged the rest of us who’ve considered him our husbands in our heads as her “sisterwives.” (I don’t see anyone clamoring to cuff Mr. Clarkson like that...just saying.)
What’s even more incredulous is that Clarkson also has a history of using racial slurs, misogynistic and homophobic language, assaulting people, and being outright offensive. If bigotry is the new sexy, then folks in the UK have a bigger problem then this wack-ass list.
The fact that in the year of our Lord 2024, five other (let’s admit it...non-sexy) men made it in front of Elba is not only shocking, it’s appalling, shameful, distressing, jarring and a decision that leaves me truly flabbergasted.
Damson Idris was right there! Rege-Jean Page was right there! Aaron Pierre was right there! Daniel Kaluuya was right there! John Boyega was right there! Luscien Laviscount was right there! Skepta was right there! Lews Hamilton was right there! Alfred Enoch was right there! Martins Imhangbe was right there! Aml Ameen was right there! But I digress.
I don’t know who the hell they asked to come up with this list but I need all of England to swear that they won’t ask those same folks again next year, cool? Cool.