Global Waiting

Last year, Congress passed a measure calling for better gas mileage by the year 2020.

Video will return here when scrolled back into view

Social Media Split After Bishop T.D. Jakes Retires from The Potter’s House

view video

Social Media Split After Bishop T.D. Jakes Retires from The Potter’s House

Last week, the G-8 proposed reducing global gas emissions by the year 2050.

I’m making some major announcements, too.

I will be coming to work on time (starting in 2010). I will clean up my garage (by 2015).

I will learn another language (by 2020).

I will sort out my finances (by 2022 ½—Hello Social Security check)!

I will double the amount I exercise (starting in 2025).

I will cut fatty foods in my diet by 50 percent (no later than 2030).

I will swear off “Chips Ahoy” completely (by 2035).

I will significantly increase the time I spend with my kids (by 2040).

I will call my mother more frequently (by 2045—Happy 110th Birthday, Mom)!

Let’s hold a huge round of applause (til 2050).

Ivan Held works in book publishing in New York.