BB: Lehman Stress Balls Coughed Up By Barclays; Bloomberg Headline, Not Ours
IHT: More Comes Out about Gaza killings; Israel Would Deny, But Knows How Much That Stinks in Reverse
Fox: Iranian Leaders Reject Prez's Gesture; Obama Says "Rahm, Fetch My Shinebox"
SR: 50 Cent Replaces Forrest Whitaker in Film; Apparently, Every Black Actor Ever Was Unavailable
The Job: Being Tan Is the Old Black
Forbes: Strip Club Holds Jobs Fair; Neither Set-Up nor Punchline in This Economy
Heritage: Blacks Definitely Trying to Perpetuate Species, Not Marriage
YT: A Wedding Disaster—You Might Feel Bad, But Not Bad Enough to Not Cackle with Delight
NYT: AIG Execs Getting Harassed, Claim Misery Will Make Them (Worse) Fiends
WP: Holder Tells Agencies to Open More Records; Agencies Ask to Just Be Called Cowards Instead
AP: African Union Suspends Madagascar; Whether with or without Pay Unknown
CNN: Desperate Japanese Head to 'Suicide Jungle'; Charles Grassley Feeling Extremely Topical This Week
AJE: Israeli Gaza Offensive Appears to Constitute "War Crime of Greatest Magnitude"
BBC: Obama Skypes with Ahmadinejad, Iranian People; Offers 'New Beginning'
ESPN: Day One Pretty Predictable in Tourney; No Knee-Breaking Reported
HuffPo: Unhappy Anniversary—A Slideshow on Six Years in Iraq
THR: Mary J. Blige Cast in Next Tyler Perry Send-Up 'Tyler Perry's Something or Other that May Involve Drag'