Forget Cashing Cans, I'm Selling Sperm

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On an episode of “30 Rock,” Tina Faye’s character Liz Lemon jokingly mentioned that her boyfriend’s family treated sperm banks like an ATM. As ridiculous as that sounds in practice that may be a frame of mind many are now suddenly embracing.

While clothing and can good donations are on the decline, donations of the reproductive variety are on an upswing.

In other words, men and woman are selling their eggs and sperm to make a quick buck.

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Speaking with the Boston Globe, M. Benardo, president of Northeast Assisted Fertility Group, says the influx of donators has a lot to do with discovering ways to earn some level of income.

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“What we've seen is that the economy seems to have inspired more people to look at alternative ways to earning money. We're seeing people who might not otherwise do this but for their economic condition,” Benardo said.

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For women, while the procedure is invasive and not easy labor, the benefits are fruitful. Fees paid to egg donors range from $5,000 to $10,000.

After an extensive screening process selected donors must undergo hormone injections, then a surgical procedure to remove her eggs.

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For men, the benefits of using what you got to get what you want aren’t as financially fulfilling.

On average, men only earn $85 to $100 for a donation. A part of me wants to say that’s not fair; the other part of me realizes that I need to shut up and realize it’s harder for people living with a uterus.

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I’ve jokingly said in order to get a Macbook I would probably need to sell sperm. But now that I see the going rate for donations, I would have to contribute enough to populate Shanghai to earn enough money to pay for it.

I don’t think I can manage. Besides, I live with the fear that if I ever donated my sperm the second I ‘arrive’ some big teeth, sarcastic, slanted eye having child was going to crash a book signing of mine and yell, “Daddy, you owe me!”

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I’ll pass.

What about you, though?

Email me at therecessiondiaries@gmail.com

Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him on Twitter.