‘Don’t Wind Up on Page Six,’ Michelle Obama Told Malia as She Headed Off to College ... and, Welp

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Part of being a child/teen/young adult is often doing exactly the opposite of what your parents advised or suggested. Sometimes it’s not even on purpose, but, you know, shit happens.

Turns out the former first family knows about these struggles as well, after Michelle Obama revealed one of the bits of advice she gave to her eldest daughter, Malia, before she headed off to Harvard last fall.

“Don’t wind up on Page Six,” Michelle Obama revealed she told her daughter while speaking at Kick Health’s New York event.

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And welp. Even Aunty Shellie can see that all things are not meant to be.

“I don’t know if she managed that,” the former first lady added.

Of course, tabloids (and Malia’s snitching-ass “friends”) can’t seem to let Malia live her regular-ass life, so photos and videos of her doing regular-ass things like kissing, smoking and just chilling like a regular-ass college student have circulated online.

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It’s really not Malia’s fault that she winds up in these nonsensical posts. Were she any other 19-year-old, or were racist conservatives some people not so obsessed with a private citizen just because of her last name, this would be about as interesting as watching paint dry.

Alas, here we are.