We all have that one friend who just can’t let shit go. You know the one I’m talking about. The homeboy who thinks someone stepping on his shoe is a plot by his rivals to ruin his new Jordans. The homegirl who thinks the waiter has a vendetta against her because one of her mozzarella sticks was short, which means she got 7.63 fried cheese turds when the menu clearly states it comes with eight. Some people weren’t born with the “I’m gonna let this one slide” setting.
Kevin Durant is like that.
To be fair, most elite athletes are like that. Tom Brady admits he’s still fueled by being drafted in the seventh round of the NFL draft. Michael Jordan was still throwing shade at his high school junior varsity basketball coach at his Hall of Fame induction. When Stephen Curry did better than expected at a golf tournament this summer, he couldn’t wait to tweet a social media middle finger to the people who doubted him.
But very few people create a whole new virtual identity just to clap back at their haters. Apparently, a group of internet sleuths at Reddit (or, as I call it, “the racist Hardy Boys site”) have unearthed a number of compelling clues about a private Instagram account that suggests Durant might be behind it, according to SBNation.
The first clue was this innocuous pic from the Instagram account of Durant’s brother Tony, showing him with KD. Tony tagged Kevin and a private account, “quiresultan.”
Quire and Sultan are the names of streets in Kevin Durant’s old hometown of Capitol Heights, Md. The account only has a few followers but is followed by some of the biggest NBA names and rapper Big Sean, who is a longtime friend.
The account’s profile picture is from the movie Goodfellas, a movie Durant often references. The account’s bio reads only, “No live ball turnovers.” In the 2017 NBA Finals, the Golden State Warriors scored 17 points off live-ball turnovers, setting the table for KD’s first championship ring.
Then there’s the fact that KD is known to clap back at haters on social media. There is a widespread belief among many people in the basketball-analyst community named Michael Harriot that the injuries that have plagued Durant his entire career all stem from his being cursed after attacking the Based God, Lil B, on Twitter.
Someone who acts like Durantula has used the account to argue with people who criticize him. Now, I’m not saying it’s Kevin Durant, but ... OK, I’m saying it’s Kevin Durant.
Now that Durant has been outed, the private account curiously switched names but has the same number of followers. So is Durant using a secret Instagram account for private petty purposes?
Who cares? Just hurry up and bring me the .37 cheese stick you owe me!
You can read the entire conspiracy theory at SBNation.