Our sister site, Slate, ran an article on how the recession may be ruining friendships across the country.
In short: It’s hard being buddies with brokies.
Well, that isn’t exactly how Emily Bazelon phrased it in her piece, but yes, when money gets funny so do many relationships. As someone still training to be rich (I don’t believe in the word broke), I’m well aware of how money and class differences can put a damper on a friendship.
Some who have been affected by the recession more than others begin to feel a sense of impatience with those who have yet to really take a hit and speak to them as if life is a daily lottery they keep winning. In the event the less well-off friend mentions how frustrating this can be, the more financially stable one can quickly become uneasy with talking about their lives in an effort to not offend.
But if you can’t complain to your friends who can you complain with? The same applies to those who are doing well and only want to spread their good news to those closets to them.
Many of my friends that work in media have been laid off over the past year. Some took months to tell me, others told me instantly. Most kept in touch regularly as they always did, a few disappeared altogether.
One in particular just stopped responding to my emails, calls, and IMs. I thought I had done something wrong and then randomly, several months later I got a message saying they didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for them nor did they want to engage in anyone else’s pity party.
I can understand that to a degree, though perhaps this is the naïveté in me, but I would think despite whatever is going on in one’s personal life, if a person is your friend they will know how to act and what to say to you based on how you’re feeling.
I’ve had many people listen to me complain, humor me when I say I might go play with the pole over the keyboard for money, or simply snap me out of my pity party and encourage me to push forward.
I’ve been doing much better this year professionally, and some of the very people who kept me motivated now find themselves with their own personal and professional strife. I in turn return the favor. That’s just what a friend does.
As for class differences, that’s something I encountered while at Howard University. Through my college experience I realized that class can sometimes be just as divisive if not more so than race. Still, I agree wholeheartedly with the general point that many of us are missing the opportunity to be supportive, share what we know and use it to grow in this unique period we found ourselves.
Alright, let me stop now before I sound even more like an after school special.
Has the recession affected any of your relationships with friends or loved ones? If so, I’d love to hear your story.
Please post your responses below or email me at therecessiondiaries@gmail.com.
Michael Arceneaux hails from Houston, lives in Harlem and praises Beyoncé’s name wherever he goes. Follow him on Twitter.