So, "just stop touching any parts of women's bodies with any parts of your body" probably isn't a feasible long-term plan for Chad Ochocinco Johnson, but it would have certainly helped the negotiations in his domestic violence case (yeah, the old head-butting one) go a little more smoothly.
At a hearing on a probation violation related to that matter, the judge rejected his no-jail plea deal and sentenced him to 30 days behind bars after he "playfully slapped his attorney on the backside in court," ESPN News reports.
It was all set until Johnson, when asked by McHugh if he was satisfied with his lawyer Adam Swickle, gave the attorney a light swat on the rear — as football players routinely do to each other on the field. The courtroom erupted in laughter and at that McHugh said she wouldn't accept the deal.
"I don't know that you're taking this whole thing seriously. I just saw you slap your attorney on the backside. Is there something funny about this?" McHugh said, slapping the plea deal document down on her desk. "The whole courtroom was laughing. I'm not going to accept these plea negotiations. This isn't a joke."
Johnson, 35, tried to apologize and insisted he meant no disrespect. Johnson was on probation after pleading no contest to head-butting his then-wife, TV reality star Evelyn Lozada, during an altercation last August. She quickly filed for divorce after barely a month of marriage and Johnson, a six-time Pro Bowl wide receiver, was immediately released by the Miami Dolphins. He didn't play at all last season.
"This is your courtroom. I have no intent to make this a joke. It's not funny," Johnson told the judge. "My life is in a shambles right now and I try my best to laugh and keep a smile on my face."
Again, we're going to suggest that he change that last thought to "I try my best to laugh and keep my hands to myself" — at least until this case is behind him.
Read more at ESPN.