Blake Griffin Just Got Traded to the Detroit Pistons for a Scratch-Off, an Expired EBT Card and a Pack of Newports

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Imagine you are Blake Griffin. You are the franchise player of the Los Angeles Clippers—the one who actually got people in L.A. interested in the Clippers again, to be exact. You are an All-Star. You are a pivotal member of the team. You are the star of Kia ads, and you are known for your dunks.

Imagine, with all of that, your team trades you to the Detroit Pistons for the equivalent of a pack of Juicy Fruit and a comb missing most of its teeth.

Griffin doesn’t have to imagine that, because that is exactly what happened to him Monday. The Clippers agreed to a trade deal that sends Griffin to Detroit in exchange for Tobias Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjanovic, and a first-round and a second-round draft pick.

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In other words, the Clippers just traded their star player for a dollar and a dream.

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I was discussing this with our senior editor, Stephen A. Crockett Jr., and he said: “Detroit didn’t want Avery Bradley anymore. Tobias Harris is like a bootleg Carmelo, which is not a good thing. The only foreigner I respect is named Dirk, which is really the ghetto pronunciation of ‘Derrick.’”

This has to be painful for Griffin.

Godspeed, my light-skinned brother.

We heard it’s so cold out there in the D.