Look. If you're a man who gets upset by women paying attention to physically attractive men, or a woman who gets upset when men make jokes about your attraction to physically attractive men, leave VSB, go to your home or office supply room, find some Drano, and drink it. If you're not upset by any of this, please continue reading.
Some time in the last 12 to 24 hours, an ad featuring a group of Idris-doppelgangers offering plumbing services surfaced on Twitter, resulting in…
1. An estimated 87.6% of the women on my timeline experiencing an instantaneous increase of vageen humidity
2. Perhaps the easiest set of puns and double, triple, and quadruple entendres that have ever existed
If this wasn't the most "contrived-ass, Tyler Perry-ass screenplay in real life"-ass shit I've ever seen, I don't know what would be. You can even think of the titles:
Tyler Perry's God-Fearing Men With Honest Jobs
Tyler Perry's Fix It Jesus! And by "Jesus" I Mean "Raheem The Plumber"
Or, if Tyler Perry all of a sudden decided to start producing porn.
Tyler Perry's I Can't Stop Squirting!
I first suspected that this was either a stripper collective with a very creative marketing plan or a new R&B group with the worst marketing plan ever. But after some Twitter recognizance, I learned they really are plumbers, and they really have an awesome story.
Throughout Black History Month we memorialize iconic African Americans who have made a difference in the lives of many. Whether it was Dr. Martin Luther King or President Barack Obama, their journeys may have traveled different roads but they all started the same…with a dream!
It is no different for the Redway family of Los Angeles, Ca. Kenneth Redway Sr., father to five sons: Andrew, Leonard, Kenneth Jr., Edwin, and Owen, had a dream that his five boys (dubbed “5RB” for 5 Redway Brothers by their mother Elaine) would stick together and become successful tradesman. Well, 32 years later Kenneth Sr. can sit back and reflect on how his dream has become a reality. All five of his sons have not only become successful entrepreneurs but they have worked together in doing so.
A part of me still suspects that this is actually a prolonged promo for a new Tyler Perry series (Tyler Perry's House Of Plumbers) starring Lamman Rucker as "John Plumber", Tyrese as "Julius Plumber", Lance Gross as "Junior Plumber", Chris Brown as "Chris Brown", and Dennis Haysbert as "Papa Plumber", but I'm probably wrong.
(Well, maybe wrong.)