(The Root) — VH1's reality shows have taken over Monday nights. Between player-loving ladies scrapping over lunch and the sex-inspired perfume launches by senior citizens, it's too ratchet to look away. Just too ratchet.
Basketball Wives L.A. (Monday 8 p.m. ET; VH1)
"When I first came out here, I was like, who is she? It's always like you put a mask on, and you don't have to do that for me." —Laura
"Guess what, Draya? You don't want a problem with me, sweetie." —Jackie
Highlight: We almost thought our favorite Basketball Wives character, Drama, wasn't coming back for a second season. But she's back. First, she makes a little appearance on the track with Gloria and Laura — sisters who decide to talk about their issues after a year of playing nice. Laura thinks Gloria is fake, and Gloria thinks Laura hasn't been supportive of her. Hug it out, girls, just hug it out.
Next, Drama visits Jackie and Draya. We were all expecting new enemies Bambi and Brooke to throw them bows, but Jackie and Draya beat them to it. Jackie's been planning her gay-themed vow-renewal ceremony, and when she sits down to lunch with all of her guests — the girls — she gets into it with Draya. After admitting that Draya is a grown-up, Jackie pulls out a lollipop. Then, after the long exchange of insults and curse words, somebody swings. Welcome back, Drama.
T.I. and Tiny: The Family Hustle (Monday 9 p.m. ET; VH1)
"I didn't come here to sweat today." —Tiny (at the gym)
"I'm definitely not doing this cleanse. Right now a few sit-ups ain't looking too bad." —Tiny
Highlight: This is not the first time T.I. has tried to get his family in shape. We remember that episode when he spent a stack on a bike that Tiny barely rode around the block. But this time, there's $1,000 at stake, and everybody is trying to win it — including Shekinah, who starts her workout with a strawberry milkshake in hand and ends the day with a colon cleanse to cheat the system. Too bad she lost to the kids.
Chrissy & Mr. Jones (Monday 10 p.m. ET, VH1)
"I don't know about the — the name part. But this is your dream." —Freddie
"I might catch a couple fishes like that: 'Smell me.' " —Mama Jones
Highlight: Though Chrissy spent most of this episode handwringing over whether she's ready for motherhood, Mama Jones stole the show with her own unique motherly instincts. First, she has a brainstorming session with Freddie about her new fragrance, Pum Kash, which is inspired by all things below the belt. Next, they end up shooting the debut commercial for the perfume, which pretty much consists of Mama Jones just walking into a bar with fans blowing her newly zhooshed hair and red dress. Later, Freddie and Jimmy try to reconcile their differences from an old beef stemming from a song Freddie produced for Mama Jones in which she dissed Chrissy. The chat didn't go well. But Jim's mother still wound up smelling sweet.