Well apparently someone is already working some conjure on her, got her looking like she 44...

Today in Petty Spaghetti: His eyes in that picture. Jaysus be some ultra strength Visine...

Wait, is this sista Jamaican for real? And you just gave her a bunch of your bodily fluids and hair?

No no and no. See my above angry grumbling. Shit is annoying to me! Cut the bullshit California Pizza Kitchen!

Tip shame my balls. I tip at restaurants and no the fuck where else.

This dude is like OJ 2.0

He looked like he was in full grand mal. That taut ass suit wasn’t helping.

Also: We gonna just ignore Ice T’s dance solo?

So this is weird. But I don’t hate it, I just hate the missteps.

Wow, that son seems weary to say the least.

See that’s what used to confuse me - Howard was so weird about visitors! If I wanted to post up with bae, I had to like, fill out this form by Wednesday and then give up my id and all this fucktardery.

My lort, I clearly took you somewhere lmao

He just said he’s 72. Smile, nod and go with it - same as IRL.

How about the first time you just chop up some vegetables and put them in their dish ‘cause you don’t feel like going to the store and they acted funny about that expensive food last time..

Wow. My mom caught my fingers in the door of a sky blue Firebird while I was reaching back in for Smurf doll. Damn sure should have went to the ER.

Sheeit, you obviously weren’t in the Ebony Sex Palace! Next you’ll be telling me you didn’t have cable...

I should have scrolled down - I just commented that we need to have like, cameo-style silhouettes, or artist renderings or emoji or some type of alternate for these aggressive-faced people.

I thought we agreed to show 45 and adjacents in silhouette?

Everytime I say something general in passing on some meh shit, it becomes a maelstrom.

You might wanna walk that back! I’ve been notified that I’ve made a dramatically inappropriate and outrageously racist conclusion about Milwaukee blacks, compounded by further fucktoriousness against Milwaukeeans of all stripes.