Astral Chain—That is a big ol’ cyber bow she has. Also this dialogue is great. “The override release isn’t going through!” You have to hack into the mainframe, guys. Duh.

*Pokemanz. We’ve been through this. Also GYM LEADER NESSA IS SO CUTE AHHH I’ve broken face, she’s my fave now.

Maybe they will incorporate those Star Fox Zero controls everyone loved! (Just kidding.)

Hey whoa, now it is Contra, featuring Cuddly the gun panda. And some other characters, and splosions.

Hey, some more heroes... or not! It’s No More Heroes 3.

I might revisit these games in order to relive the cultural moment where we all briefly forgot what survival horror was.

Look at little Link-o go! Oh gosh, I can’t get over how cute this take on Link’s Awakening looks.

I at one point offered to “help” my niece play Dark Moon when she couldn’t clear a level, and... Well, she got it back eventually.

Never mind, I will have real, actual nightmares about partner character Gooigi, who can apparently deconstruct his own body and phase through metal bars. I might be retroactively freaked out about Paper Mario, now that I mention it.

There are lots of exciting ways for Luigi to pull things with his vacuum here, but I am largely enjoying the campy and spoopy narration here.

Well, I’m sure they wanted to clear up any potential for sordid rumors to form around their relationship, so smart business move on Nintendo’s part, I think.

Toriyama Party? I’d play it. Look at all them big foreheads and little, pointy noses.