look, this tape is a ham sandwich on the kitchen table; it’s either there or it ain’t. A “maybe” is a sucker move. Send me your email and I can send you my bank statement which is proof of non-existence.

I feel like I need to defend myself....I’m 6'2 in flats.

Y’all are so much better at this than I am. I’m rolling over here..

heartfelt poverty porn.

Also, pretty sure she gives the universal sign for “popping bottles” more than once.

Her sign for “murdered” is the same sign I give to my friends for “it’s going down!”

super sensitive autocorrect. thanks for the heads up.

This is truly the Lord’s work. You are the vessel.

Clearly you are smarter than me. In fact, how did I even write this response on my own?

And, she’s threatening to reveal more. We must keep her safe.

Ha, you know me too well.

Very true. I apologize. Fixing this ASAP.

ha! I was convinced this would be me and then I when I wasn’t looking she snuck in through the back door.

thank you!

Ha! Thank you

You know me so well!

Thank you! Yes, I am going to update it to sound more polished and married.

Lol! I’ve learned this the hard way when I moved it off the bed and she couldn’t find it. All. Hell. Broke. Loose.

this might be the nicest comment I ever gotten here. thank you.

this might be the nicest comment I ever gotten here. thank you.