My daughters will never know what it’s like to be in line at the grocery store while moms looks at the cart, does the math in her head, and then starts strategically taking stuff out. Fruit Roll-Ups? Gone. That cereal you begged for? Gone. You look in the cart and ain’t nothing but eggs, Wonder Bread, some tuna, and a…

I keep it real with mines. My 6 year-old knows if/when she asks for something and I tell her it’s getting to close to the end of the month, what that means in terms of family finances.

One might imagine it to be a thing where they set up a boxing ring in a strip club if one were to imagine it to be a thing. Again, I cannot confirm nor deny the existence of such an event.

Any stories you may hear that involve me, shots of Jameson, something called “Foxy Boxing,” and falling into a fountain are most likely works of pure fiction.

Bless you.

Your opinions on anything related to foodstuffs is invalid.

I’m fancy? You’re the one dissing gravy like it ain’t a African American food group.

You’re not coming for gravy on my watch.

Rats are scary. A clear omission on my part.