Full disclosure: I am not an expert on wax. I didn’t study wax history in college; I haven’t been to a wax museum in decades; I didn’t attend 2017’s National Candle Association Annual Conference and Expo; and the only wax I’ve ever been intimate with is what my ears produce.
Still, despite this obvious ignorance of wax culture, I couldn’t resist the compulsion to offer a critique of Louis Tussaud’s Wax Museum’s depiction of Beyoncé, which looks less like Beyoncé and more like a computer-generated congelation of every bartender at Señor Frog’s.
Maybe I’m being too hard on them. Perhaps the museum is just going for a Beyoncé theme. Kinda like how Barbie has Malibu Barbie, Veterinarian Barbie, Recent Divorcee Barbie and Sweatshop Overseer Barbie.
Maybe this is just Pumpkin Spice and Jetta Beyoncé. Or Journeys Beyoncé. Or Would Probably Die in the First 10 Minutes of a Slasher Film Beyoncé. Or Get Out Beyoncé. Or Becky With the Good Credit Beyoncé. Or “I Didn’t Tell My Dad You Were Black” Beyoncé.
If this is true, well, I’m always here for more Beyoncés.