In Titus Kaphar’s upcoming directorial debut “Exhibiting Forgiveness,” Andra Day plays Aisha, a woman who has to juggle the weight of her husband’s (acclaimed painter Tarrell, played by Andre Holland) estranged relationship with his father and the concurrent demands of her own dreams.
Aisha is an understanding partner, a present mother, and a talented singer itching to put out new music. And while Day has a shorter amount of time in the film as opposed to Holland, her presence is powerful thanks to the silent support that her character gives to her family. She’s both an anchor for the life they currently live, and a guiding force for the life they want to build. Additionally, Day’s song “Bricks”— which she specifically wrote for the film —also undergirds the theme of the film, which centers around the complicated process of forging forward through forgiveness in order to truly free from the past.
“Unforgiveness is a tricky thing, because I think we think that unforgiveness protects us. And though we may still need boundaries, I think unforgiveness might seem like a refuge, but it’s actually a prison,” she told The Root ahead of the film’s Friday, Oct. 18 release date.
In addition to that anecdote, Day also shared the surprising way the film helped her in her own journey of re-examining what forgiveness looks like. Sharing how this role was “vulnerable,” “transparent,” and “scary” at times, the Oscar-nominated actress said:
This film really helped me to crystallize one thing, which is that you can forgive and you can still be boundaried. You want to reconcile and the desire should be to let go of the burden for yourself. It’s more for you and to free yourself through forgiveness. But also, I think the other thing that I realized though this process is that I think we think sometimes, we’re supposed to forgive, right? You know, like what you’ve been taught when you’re young. It’s a very like elementary, ABC version of forgiveness is which is: ‘okay, I’m sorry’ and I’m over it. And that’s not realistic.
Forgiveness is a process. It’s a very hard fought battle. And the thing that stood out to me the most is that, you know, you hear people say that love is a choice. You have to choose to love this person and choose this person everyday. I think forgiveness is the same thing — you have to choose to forgive. You might wake up and feel like forgiving one day and then the next day it’s like ‘I do not feel it. I’m angry at that person again’ or ‘I’m angry at myself again.’ So to walk in forgiveness and to stay in that place is a choice that you kind of have to make daily. And I don’t think I looked at it that way before.
Day also made it clear that she hopes Black women will be affirmed in this movie and empowered to throw out the societal notion that pushes them to endure mistreatment under the guise of forgiving. that through this film
“I believe it’s work—but it also should grow you. When you forgive you’re letting go of that burden. You’re freeing yourself and the other person, but you’re freeing yourself to be able to know yourself more, to know new boundaries and to understand the things that you will tolerate and the things that you won’t. I think that people, unfortunately, particularly as women and Black women, that forgiveness means you just allow someone to continue to abuse you and walk all over you. And I don’t agree with that.But I think there’s revelation and actual wisdom in true forgiveness.”
“Exhibiting Forgiveness,” starring Day, Holland, Aunjane Ellis-Taylor and John Earl Jelks, hits theaters Oct. 18.