A year ago today, Nov. 8, a bloated, orange-colored meat sack topped with the world’s worst comb-over became leader of the free world, aka president of the United States. This past year has been a living nightmare as we’ve watched the Trump administration’s all-too-predictable descent into chaos and dumb-fuckery.
Every day, Donald Trump found new and embarrassing ways to bring the country to a new low—including, but not limited to: coddling white supremacists; attacking Muslims, immigrants and NFL players; co-signing police brutality; and regularly making the most incoherent statements, probably because he only knows about 257 words (let me know if that seems too high).
The only real pleasure in reading about this shitshow of an administration was seeing the clever names The Root staff came up with to refer to this narcissistic, racist man-child.
So, like our sister site Jezebel—which also took some solace in calling Trump everything but a child of God—I’ve compiled a list of some of the names we’ve used in lieu of “President Trump.”
The list below is in no particular order—other than how funny the names sound grouped together. I also want to send a special shoutout to Senior Editor Stephen A. Crockett Jr. and contributor Michael Arceneaux, who turned calling Trump out of his name into a high art and made a huge chunk of this list possible. Thanks, guys!
- Racist in chief
- Liar in chief
- President Pee-Pee
- President Asshat
- President Twitter Fingers, aka President Twitter Fingas (sorta like the n-word)
- President Executive Order
- President “Y’all Don’t See How I’m Signing Shit,” ibid.
- President of dividing the United States
- President Vladmir TrumPutin
- Marigold Manchurian Candidate
- President Hog’s-Head-Cheese Hussein
- President Cheeto Dust
- Mango Zedong
- Mango Mussolini
- Mandarin Orange Mugabe
- Apricot Idi Amin
- Tangerine Mussolini
- Orange Moon
- Sweet Potato Saddam
- Demented Cheese Grit
- General Tso’s-chicken-colored commander in chief
- Colby-Jack Führer
- Honeysuckle Lenin
- Tropicana Jong-il
- Minute Maid Mao
- Sunny D Zedong
- Sunkist Stalin
- President-elect Orangina
- Saddle Tan Nixon
- Habanero Hitler
- Parmesan Putin
- Papaya Batista, ibid.
- President Bankruptcy Batista
- President Donald von Douche Face
- President Shitty von Douche Face
- President Douchey von ShitFace
- President Shitty von HateFace
- President Shitty McShitFace
- President Dumbass von FrostyHair
- President Dumbass von Fuck Face
- President PermanentTemperTantrum von FuckFace
- President Lucas von LittleFingers
- President Nooshi von BackWash
- President Petty von Tweets Too Much
- President Shitty von AssFace
- President Lucas von TurtleDick, ibid.
- President Soaked von ShittyDiaper, ibid.
- President SatanFace von HawkSpit
- President “Are You Fucking Kidding Me”