The text of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s response to Donald Trump’s United Nations speech will go down as one of the pettiest incidents in the annals of international shade throwing. To highlight the cataclysmic clapback of this piece of art, we assembled a group of world-renowned pettyologists from Atlanta; Compton, Calif.; and Brooklyn, N.Y., to translate this correspondence into the English dialect known as “street talk.”
Here is an annotated translation:
The speech made by the U.S. president in his maiden address on the U.N. arena in the prevailing serious circumstances, in which the situation on the Korean Peninsula has been rendered tense as never before and is inching closer to a touch-and-go state, is arousing worldwide concern.
Shaping the general idea of what he would say, I expected he would make stereotyped, prepared remarks a little different from what he used to utter in his office on the spur of the moment as he had to speak on the world’s biggest official diplomatic stage.[1]
The Brooklyn translation: Ay, yo, my G, Trump’s speech was wild disrespectful, knowing shit is tight now in Korea. Niggas around the word is mad shook right now, so we thought when he came to the U.N. he would at least have some prepared remarks. Nah, mean ... where Brooklyn at?
1. The world’s biggest diplomatic stage is technically 125th and Lenox in Harlem.
But, far from making remarks of any persuasive power that can be viewed to be helpful to defusing tension, he made unprecedented rude nonsense one has never heard from any of his predecessors.
A frightened dog barks louder.
I’d like to advise Trump to exercise prudence in selecting words and to be considerate of whom he speaks to when making a speech in front of the world.
The mentally deranged behavior of the U.S. president openly expressing on the U.N. arena the unethical will to “totally destroy” a sovereign state, beyond the boundary of threats of regime change[2] or overturn of social system, makes even those with normal thinking faculty think about discretion and composure.
His remarks remind me of such words as “political layman” and “political heretic” which were in vogue in reference to Trump during his presidential election campaign.
The Atlanta translation: Bruh, you sked, aincha?
You need ta’ watch how you talk to grown folks fo’ I show you ain’t no playin’ GA. I’on know what kinda corn flakes yo mama feedin’ you, but everybody know you acting a little touched in the head. You sho’ you aight, bruh? Ever since the election, you’ve been acting like a blind man at a titty club—just feeling your way around.
2. Regime change: What happens when a strip club is under new management.
After taking office Trump has rendered the world restless through threats and blackmail against all countries in the world. He is unfit to hold the prerogative of supreme command of a country, and he is surely a rogue and a gangster[3] fond of playing with fire, rather than a politician.
His remarks which described the U.S. options through straightforward expression of his will have convinced me, rather than frightening or stopping me, that the path I chose is correct and that it is the one I have to follow to the last.
Now that Trump has denied the existence of and insulted me and my country in front of the eyes of the world and made the most ferocious declaration of a war in history that he would destroy the DPRK [Democratic People’s Republic of Korea], we will consider with seriousness exercising of a corresponding, highest level of hard-line countermeasure in history.
The Compton translation: Don’t you know what coming to my hood and popping off will get homey? Ain’t no fake gangstas round here. Now, I’ve been trying to be nice to you, but if you keep calling me out my name, I can show you how the hemisphere’s west side represent. I’m trying to be nice ...
But if you really wanna get on some gangster shit ...
3. Which set is he claiming?
Action is the best option in treating the dotard who, hard of hearing, is uttering only what he wants to say.
As a man representing the DPRK and on behalf of the dignity and honor of my state and people and on my own, I will make the man holding the prerogative of the supreme command in the U.S. pay dearly for his speech calling for totally destroying the DPRK.
This is not a rhetorical expression loved by Trump.
Brooklyn: (Hold up—what the hell does “dotard” mean? OK, aight.) If this dumb muhfucka wants to start some shit, let’s lace up the Timbs and throw hands, my G.
I can show you how we get down in Brooklyn.
I am now thinking hard about what response he could have expected when he allowed such eccentric words to trip off his tongue.
Whatever Trump might have expected, he will face results beyond his expectation.
Compton: I don’t know what kind of party you thought this was, but gangstas don’t dance ... we boogie.
I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged U.S. dotard with fire.
Atlanta: And as my grandmother once told me on the way to church: Knuck if you buck!