Am I Too Successful to Date?

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In her xoJane piece chronicling her online dating adventures, India-Jewel muses about why she just might be a bad fit for Match.com.

I need to come clean about something — I'm incredibly skeptical about this whole digital dating thing as it relates to me personally. I mean, I know it works, as I know several couples who have met and fell in love online, but I've fallen into a dark place where I'm having trouble believing it'll actually ever happen for me. And here's why:

1) I've been told I'm too good to date.

Everyone always says it's the "good" girls who have the hardest time finding someone to settle down with — perhaps I should be the poster child for that sentiment. Case in point: I went out on a date with a Match.com virgin last week. (In fact, I was his very first online date ever.) Surprisingly, he turned out to be all kinds of great. It was one of those amazing first dates where you feel midgets breakdancing in your belly — fuck butterflies.

He was everything I envision when I close my eyes and try to picture my future husband. He had this whole downright dapper Jay Gatsby meets Andre 3000 sort of swag: tall, dark, ridiculously handsome, impeccably dressed, exceptionally eloquent with a bright stunning smile and biting wit to boot. (Ugh! Don't you just LOVE a well turned out British gent?) …

The morning after one of my best online dates ever, he messaged to give me the dreaded "It's not you, it's me" speech. He thanked me for a lovely evening before telling me that even though he's wildly attracted to me, we can't take it any further because he feels professionally inferior to me. He's not as settled into his career as I am in mine, and he feels as if he can't afford to take me to the places I deserve to go, or buy me any of the expensive things a girl like me should have, yada yada yada.

Read India-Jewel Jackson's entire piece at xoJane.

The Root aims to foster and advance conversations about issues relevant to the black Diaspora by presenting a variety of opinions from all perspectives, whether or not those opinions are shared by our editorial staff.

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