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Uh, Seriously? This Season’s Craziest Pumpkin Spice Foods

Bourbon, Twinkies, Oreos, M&Ms and jelly beans lead this season’s pumpkin spice takeover.

We’ve officially entered fall, which means it’s pumpkin spice season. That means as you stroll through your local grocery store, you’ll see plenty of brands rolling out pumpkin spice flavored versions of familiar favorites. You’ll also see some products that definitely don’t need pumpkin spice. Just to be clear, we don’t have a problem with pumpkin spice foods. We just want them to make sense. So to save you a little trouble as you plan your fall snack obsessions, we’ve got a fun list of the weirdest pumpkin spice food products of 2024.

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Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?
Trump’s Tariffs Might Stick Around. What Should We Buy Now?

Chosen Foods Pumpkin Spice Avocado Oil

Isn’t avocado oil enough? Why are you adding pumpkin to it? These two flavors absolutely do not go together.

Hotel Tango Pumpkin Somethin’ Pumpkin Spice Bourbon

Bourbon aficionados take their spirits seriously. We can’t imagine ordering this at a bar. This is definitely something you drink at home.

Good Culture Pumpkin & Spice Cottage Cheese

Cottage cheese is an acquired taste. Either you love it or hate it. There’s no in between. Adding pumpkin to it is not going to make it better for the hate it crowd. Fair warning: If this one catches your eye, it’s only available at Whole Foods.

Frosted Flakes Pumpkin Spice Cereal

https://twitter.com/foodeater98/status/1784565196897337810?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

As advertised, Frosted Flakes are pretty “great.” They also can be very sweet, which is part of the appeal. Pumpkin would ruin the balance of flavors in that cereal milk you get after you finish your Frosted Flakes.

Pepperidge Farm Milano Pumpkin Spice

Screenshot: Pepperidge Farm

Milanos are an underrated gem in the cookie world. The shortbread to chocolate ratio is perfect. The only acceptable addition to this blend is mint. We don’t need pumpkin messing up the party.

Specially Selected Pumpkin Butternut Squash Pasta Sauce

Screenshot: Aldi

Pumpkin and butternut squash actually work too well together. The pumpkin will likely get lost amongst the squash and neither will shine.

Pumpkin Spice Oreos

https://twitter.com/retroist/status/1826761961125937290?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Why would you mess with a classic like this? If it ain’t broke, why are you adding pumpkin spice to it?

Pumpkin Spice Twinkies

Screenshot: Amazon

The secret about Twinkies that no one really discusses is that when you get to a certain age, they do more harm than good. Adding pumpkin spice to the mix doesn’t seem like it’s going to help make them easier on our old stomachs.

Pumpkin Spice Simply Gum

https://twitter.com/BellsSleigh/status/1823809133302481257?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

There is nothing worse on your taste buds than a bad piece of gum. It takes a lot of toothpaste, mouthwash and spicy foods to get that flavor out of your mouth. Pumpkin gum seems like it’s going to require extra maintenance.

Jet-Puffed Pumpkin Spice Marshmallows

Screenshot: Amazon

Marshmallows already offer an overly sweet flavor, weird texture. Pumpkin is totally unnecessary to the recipe.

Pumpkin Spice Cheerios

https://twitter.com/MarkHamill/status/1586821094886940672?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

There are countless specialty Cheerios flavors, so it’s not like pumpkin spice is an outlier. In this case, it’s just the worst choice on the list.

Frosted Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts

Screenshot: Amazon

Pumpkin Pie Pop-Tarts isn’t the brand’s weirdest offering. However, unlike other flavors, this one sounds like it absolutely has to be eaten warm. If you eat these without heating them up, it won’t sit right in your stomach.

Pumpkin Pie M&M’s

No matter how many new choices M&M’s rolls out, classic milk chocolate and peanut will always be the best.

Nature’s Bakery Pumpkin Spice Fig Bars

Screenshot: Nature’s Bakery

Pumpkin spice and fig don’t seem like they’ll make a good team.

Jelly Belly Pumpkin Pie Jelly Beans

Screenshot: Jelly Belly

Jelly beans are one of the most divisive candies out there. People either love them or hate them...there’s no in between. Pumpkin pie is definitely not going to help their reputation.

Kernel Season’s Pumpkin Spice Popcorn Seasoning

Screenshot: Amazon

Has anyone ever sat down with a big bowl or bag of popcorn and thought, “I really wish this had some pumpkin spice in it?”

Planters Pumpkin Spice Almonds

Screenshot: Planters

Is the almond not enough, do we really need pumpkin spice on top of it?

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