1. Tyronn Lue
2. My aunt Jean
3. The nigga who played “Poot” from The Wire
4. The cute widdle Black baby model on the box of Pampers I bought yesterday
5. Boston University professor Saida Grundy
6. Panama Jackson
7. “Shatasha” from Bone Thugs n’ Harmony
8. Summer Lee
9. That young boy at LA Fitness last year who hurt my feelings when he said he hopes he’s as active as I am when he’s “my age”
10. My next-door neighbors
11. Whoever cuts Jalen Rose’s hair
12. Every girl I had a crush on in 11th grade
13. 90 percent of Americans whose last name is Washington (seriously)
14. Whoever drew that picture of the Rondo-handed Jesus in Ben Carson’s house
15. Samantha Irby
16. Literally everyone who’s ever said “Nah, fam. You good.” and meant it as a threat
17. Me
18. Tyler Perry’s wig grip
19. James and Brandon (just cause everyone knows a few niggas named “James” and “Brandon”)
20. C.J. McCollum
21. Anyone who attempted to sell you Pre-Paid Legal between 2000 and 2005
22. The closest friends of any white boy called “White Tim”
23. Renée Elise Goldsberry
24. Lena Horne
25. Spike Lee
26. Rich Paul
27. Waka Flocka Flame
28. Danielle Belton
29. Who Rachel Dolezal sees when she looks in the mirror
30. All the niggas who said that one woman who pretended to be a nigga ain’t a nigga but got told by other niggas that she was a nigga.