(The Root) — Thank Zeus there are Negroes out there who can break down how the Negro mind works for white people so that they can understand why we be so mad. Mychal Massie, a conservative writer and member of a black conservative think tank, recently decided to explain to white America why "many blacks are bitter and angry at society in general and conservatives specifically."
This is real life.
It's hard to have a reasonable discussion about anything else the article contains because of how ridiculous this premise is. That could just be my anger and bitterness blocking my communication capabilities. Massie gives an example of a basketball player from a troubled background calling another successful basketball player from an affluent background an Uncle Tom to show how the bitter black mind works.
The player, who himself went on to achieve stardom, fame and fortune, hated Grant Hill in part because of the success and public stature of his parents and because, as he saw it, Hill wasn't black enough.
The player was angry and bitter because his own father had abandoned him, his mother had to work hard and he had had a difficult life growing up. He was bitter because he was the beneficiary of bad decisions others had made that ultimately affected him.
That's why many blacks are angry and bitter?
First off — I reject this premise. Are there angry and bitter black people? Sure. There are also angry and bitter white people who desperately want their country back. But the article, despite the usage of the phrase "many blacks," implies that this is the majority of blacks, and that's why President Obama enjoys such a high rate of support within the group.
Many blacks are still engaged in a struggle that ended decades ago. They are still fighting to overcome. This explains their attachment to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. It explains how a Neanderthal hate-group like the New Black Panther Party can arise. It also explains why they embrace the Obamas and scorn Justice Thomas and Rep. Allen West.
See? That explains it. We're still trying to overcome, when obviously everything is awesome and magical! You silly blacks keep acting as if you still have to fight for justice and equality. Why don't you like Allen West, but you like Barack Obama? So what that West referred to us as being slaves on the Democratic plantation? So what that West traffics in idiocy and sensational ignorance? Why would blacks like Obama more than they do him?
The irony of Massie's explanation about why blacks aren't exactly pro-Republican is staggering. It's this type of argument that is a prime example of why many furrow their brows and shake their heads. There are justifiable critiques of the Republican Party from the black community — that doesn't make us bitter. It makes us observant.
Massie has more:
White people are ignorant of the code language that permeates the black psyche and that portrays itself in various anti-social behavioral patterns. Blacks attach their support to other blacks who example a behavior that this code-speak gives off like animal pheromones. Blacks persuaded of this mindset have become masters of exercising this to their advantage.
It is also why they so viciously attack and insult those who do not portray this code-speak. This is why no one should be surprised nor believe it a matter of voter fraud that there were precincts in Philadelphia that voted 100 percent for Obama.
Code-speak? Well, you got us. We have code-speak that we've been hiding from white folks forever, and now Massie has done gone and told on us. When black people say, "Will you please pass the salt?" it actually means, "Cracker-ass crackers be acting like crackers, and we need to kill those crackers."
I assume Massie is referring to code switching. This isn't something that is unique to black people, and the fact that white America isn't aware of code switching in the black community isn't due to some sort of nefarious plot by the Negro. It's that many whites don't know a lot about the culture of blacks in America, and they don't have to — whereas blacks are very aware of many quirks and ticks of the white community.
Massie's supposed explanation of black bitterness and anger was idiotic, insulting and yet another horrendous blight on the record of black Republicans. I often find myself defending black Republicans from being black-checked and being called sellouts. As a former black Republican myself, I feel like I often see where they are coming from, even if I now completely disagree with them. I'd even defend Massie from attacks on his blackness now.
But man, I understand them.
Elon James White is a writer and satirist and host of the award-winning video and radio series This Week in Blackness. Listen Monday to Thursday at 1:30 p.m. EST at TWIB.FM and watch at TV.TWIB.ME/LIVE. Follow him on Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and Tumblr.