The rumors are true: Los Angeles residents are spoiled as shit.
Yes, we have to suffer the indignity of breathing the same air as the Kardashians, but cruising down PCH—that’s the Pacific Coast Highway for you poor, unfortunate souls whose zip code contractually obligates you to shovel snow—on a whim, indulging in gaudy rooftop brunches, and surfing for breakfast are some of the perks included in our delightful benefits package. There’s also the fact that Disneyland is next door in Anaheim, which means a theme park that people travel from all over the galaxy to partake in, only to have their ungrateful-ass kids fall asleep in their strollers thousands of dollars later, is only a soul-crushing traffic jam away.
Like I said: We’re spoiled as shit.
So as someone who spent at least 13 hours of his extended Labor Day weekend galavanting around The Happiest Place on Earth with Tinkerbell, Buzz Lightyear, and COVID-19, I’ve assembled a list of five very good reasons why you too need to take your ass to the Disneyland Resort not now, but right now.
You’re welcome in advance.
‘Tis the Season
Yes, summer is still clinging to its Brazillian butt lift and bikini for dear life, but sooner or later, it’s gonna have to let go and let God. So in my noble efforts to encourage you to do the same, there’s this thing called Halloween that’s actually pretty dope. I mean, sure, it can be absolutely terrifying at times, but in the event you soil yourself, isn’t that what laundry detergent is for?
Anyway, Halloween is kind of a big deal at Disneyland, and to help usher in the festivities they’ve turned the park into Tim Burton’s bedroom. More specifically, that means that from now until Oct. 31, The Happiest Place on Earth has been transformed into Halloween Time. So what does that entail? I’m glad you asked.
For starters, don’t be surprised if the Ariels and Daisy Ducks from your childhood are adorned in “festive Halloween looks”. And don’t think those pesky Disney villains from yesteryear won’t be stirring up mischief throughout the park as well. There’s also a giant Mickey Mouse pumpkin to keep an eye out for, the incredibly dope Halloween Screams light show, the Haunted Mansion’s seasonal makeover, and over at California Adventure, expect to stumble upon some Monsters After Dark at the Avengers Campus. Oh! And if Oogie Boogie from The Nightmare Before Christmas pulls up on you with an invite to his super exclusive Oogie Boogie Bash, I better see you there. I’m only here to help.
Welcome to Paradise
Here at The Root, we’ve got plenty of love for our brown brothers and sisters. Thankfully, the Disneyland Resort keeps that same energy, as evidenced by the triumphant return of Plaza de la Familia at Paradise Gardens over at California Adventure. So from now until Nov. 2, you’ll be treated to a festive Día de los Muertos-inspired celebration that includes “A Musical Celebration of Coco,” photo ops at the Árbol de la Vida (Tree of Life), craft activities, and plenty of other interactive experiences that will make your day at the park both culturally enriched and memorable. Trust me on this one.
Okay, but What About the Food Though?
Oh, you thought I wasn’t gonna go there? From Ghost Pepper Nachos to Jack Skellington Cupcakes to Hibiscus Sangria, you are out of your mind if you think that rides and decor are the only things at Disneyland getting a Jenny Jones makeover this Halloween season. Because not only are Mickey and them delivering an assortment of “ghoulish sweets and treats” until Nov. 10, in celebration of Hispanic and Latin American Heritage Month (Sept. 15-Oct. 15, 2022), Disneyland Resort will also be offering food and beverages that celebrate Hispanic and Latin American cultures. So if delectables like Chef Verónica’s Birria Tacos, feijoada, or Cuban sandwiches are your ministry, prepare your taste buds accordingly for the rapture.
So yes, right now is in fact the perfect time to hit up the Disneyland Resort if you haven’t already. So assemble your squadron, get your coins together, and proceed to live your best life this Halloween—because you deserve.