23 Moments from 2023 That We Did NOT See Coming

The House Oversight subcommittee on National Security, the Border and Foreign Affairs, all held a hearing to confirm the government discovered “unidentified anomalous phenomena.” In simpler terms, they found aliens. A few military veterans said non-human “biologics”  were recovered from some locations crash sites and gave haunting accounts of their reactions.

Good ol’ racism turned out to be the root of the most hysterical scene. A stubborn white family refused to move their boat from a dock and tried to provoke an altercation with the Black dock worker who asked them to move. After a group of white men ganged up on the doc worker, more Black bystanders spawned into thin air ready to swing everything from hands to chairs. One teen swam across the river just to jump in to the action. You had to be there.

Miss Carlethia “Carlee” Russell wasted everyone’s damn time this summer after allegedly disappearing following a 911 call to report a missing toddler on the side of the highway. Two days later, she walked back home and told the cops she was abducted by a man with an orange beard. Upon investigation, police found out Russell was a damn lie - she was searching kidnapping-related topics on her phone and planned her secret escape for reasons we still don’t know. Russell’s attorney released her apology. Following that, she was charged for the false alarm.

Casandra “Cassie” Ventura she filed a lengthy lawsuit accusing the Hip Hop mogul of physical abuse, rape, sexual assault and sex trafficking over their 11 year relationship. Sean Combs moved a little too swiftly to settle their beef but Cassie opened the door for more women who filed suits accusing the rapper of sexual assault as well as the goons he rolled with at Bad Boy.

The former president nearly broke the internet announcing his plans to surrender to authorities at Fulton County Jail after being slammed with a FOURTH indictment by District Attorney Fani Willis. The city of Atlanta greeted him with a “Welcome to Rice St.” celebration. He bailed out of course but that oversaturated spray tan was just too good to see in the form of a mugshot.

Ummm... so how did we wake up one day and just accept that a spy balloon from China casually crossed the states peeking on us in our day-to-day routines until it was shot down damn near North Carolina? Chinese officials claim it was to track the weather and kind of went off course but what they need to know about our forecast for? The whole thing was sus.

We’ve seen one-off clips of this man playing the flute in unicorn spottings around New York City. Though we didn’t realize he would make his comeback album full of flute tunes, every true Andre 3000 fan was ready to hit “download” as soon as his project dropped.

Mother FED us okay? Not only did she give us the tour of all tours to tour but then she made the entire performance into a production/documentary viewable for the big movie screen. When she said, “You are the visuals, baby,” she meant it.

Anyone else look at their TV screen sideways, squint a little and ask your neighbor, “She pregnant?” The Navy cried real tears as RiRi’s baby bump indicated we were indeed NOT getting another album anytime soon. But... baby Riot is the cutest!

A lot of Black men were wronged by the criminal justice system this year but this case was more bizarre beyond any police brutality incident. Dexter Wade, a Mississippi man, was fatally struck by an off-duty police officer’s vehicle. His mother turned to the police reporting him missing but received no help in finding him. Instead, unbeknownst to her, the county coroner’s office already identified him and buried him in a pauper’s grave. Wade’s mother, Bettersten, told reporters she didn’t find out until 9 months later that her son was dead and gone.

The internet had never been invested in a single submarine before. Five people boarded the OceanGate underwater vessel, sealed in from the outside, to explore the remains of the Titanic wreck, per NBC. However, it became clear after it was too late that the group wouldn’t be able to make it back to the surface and they were lost in the deep blue. The memes and jokes stopped immediately after officials confirmed the pressure of the water caused the watercraft to suffer a “catastrophic implosion,” instantly killing everyone aboard.

The head of Dallas’ Potter’s House Church was dragged on the internet and dubbed “Bishop Power Bottom” for being listed as one of the men Christian Keyes claims sexually harassed him at Diddy’s secret sex parties. He’s since said it was a lie but the tea was too hot for the internet not to run with it.

Long live the Queen of Rock n Roll!

I don’t think any of us anticipated to witness the absolute horror and tragedy of events that occurred overseas. About 5,500 children - an entire generation - in the Gaza Strip were slaughtered by Israeli airstrikes in response to the Hamas invasion. For the first time in a while, our Western media was taken over by coverage of something so heinous, we had no choice but to climb out of our own worlds and pay attention.

Yo... TikToker Keith Lee probably didn’t expect to become the viral food critic sensation he is but his honesty and credibility brought Atlanta’s critically acclaimed food business to a humble revamp. The food to the customer service was so bad, in one video bro didn’t even purchase any food! Kandi Burruss and her crew at The Real Milk & Honey had to issue an apology. Social media users from all over the globe were invested in this series.

The Writers Guild of America and SAG-AFTRA strike had the whole demographic of TV show and movie lovers shook by going on the picket line and vowing to pause all our favorite shows in demand of better pay, healthy working conditions and of course, protection from allowing AI to make profits off the likeness of the actors.

In the lame attempt to scrape up some more anti-woke supporters, Gov. Ron DeSantis issued a ban on Disney World’s DEI programs. Their beef stems from Disney publicly speaking out against the governor’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill and now he’s facing a lawsuit from the company alleging their freedom of speech is being violated.

Ugh! Good riddance. He doesn’t need a platform to argue his bigoted beliefs and spread harmful misinformation on topics he doesn’t know a thing about.

Brittany Watts of Warren, Ohio suffered the latest consequence of the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. After having a miscarriage over the toilet, prosecutors charged her with felony abuse of a corpse and accused her of trying to discard her fetus down the drain - drawing a debate over when a fetus is considered a person or “viable,” per WKBN News. This certainly sent a chilling affect across the population of women considering having children or ones who’ve experienced miscarriages before.

Everyone woke up one day to the orange cast from the Canada wildfires and was welcomed with the rude awakening of what it felt like to breathe that in upon stepping outside... like smoking an entire pack of cigarettes. You would’ve thought it was the end of days.

BOOOOOO! Tomato, tomato, tomato! Elon Musk ruined the entire brand of this beloved site. The Black users of whatever the hell this platform is called will always be Black Twitter, whether Elon likes it or not.