2023 Oscars: ‘Everyone Wins’ Swag Bag Features Extravagant Gifts for Acting, Directing Nominees

This seems like a great gift for someone who doesn’t win at the big show. What better way to lift your spirits than by jetting off to an Italian island vacation or a beautiful 10-acre estate in Canada?

If your life revolves around your looks, you need hair restoration services and hair wellness products ready to use at a moment’s notice. And let’s be honest, some of these men are more vain about their hair than the biggest diva could ever be.

Other than “performance testing panels,” it’s not really clear what you get from this gift. Perhaps it means you get someone who comes to you for all that routine lab work, so stars don’t have to wait around at the lab all day like us normal people.

This company is offering “complimentary project management,” because that’s totally something that everyone needs. Well, this certainly wins the award for most unique item offered in the collection.

Apparently, “land plots supporting Australian conservation efforts” are what every successful artist needs. Sure, a piece of another country is a totally normal thing to gift to another person. Seriously, is this what rich people do? Trade land plots like they’re pieces of jewelry?

I’ve been waiting years for someone to offer me “performance inactivewear.”

“Artisanal Japanese milk bread” are the most magical words in this gift bag.

Chocolate is the second-best word.

You can’t go wrong with premium tequila. Try to stay away from drunk texting.

In case tequila isn’t your thing.

It’s no surprise to see one of the most popular skincare brands included.

Obviously, I need my “beach getaway” flip-flops and luggage to match.

Specially curated, hand-harvested dates. Seems like a lot of effort for something most people ignore on the charcuterie board.

I have no judgments on body sculpting. Everyone should be free to be comfortable in their own skin.

A high-quality bath set is worth all the money in the world.

You had me at silk pillowcases.

I’m not sure what a gourmet maple collection is, but I’m intrigued.

Edible massage oils. Enough said.

Finally, something regular people can try.