I watched HBO’s The Undoing, and I have questions.
1. Why would he try to burn the murder thing in a janky outdoor fire pit when the whole ass ocean is literally right there?
2. Do rich whites (“the wich”) just not have ceilings in their homes?
3. Is there a ceiling-less house level of Zillow that unlocks when you’re a wich?
4. I live in a high ceiling-ed house myself, but my ceilings, you know, exist. When the wich are house shopping and the real estate agent asks how high they want their ceilings to be, do they just respond “outer space”?
5. Are the wich aware of oceans?
6. Do they assume that every body of water is just some wealthier wich’s in-ground swimming pool?
7. Although we learned who did it, how come Donald Sutherland’s eyebrows were never considered a suspect?
8. Or one of Nicole Kidman’s Balenciaga Space Suit coats?
9. Between her height, her hair, and those coats, it’s like she’s an Avenger named Porcelain Privilege.
10. “What’s your superpower?” “My skin.”
11. If I saw one of those coats just randomly jaunting through Spanish Harlem at midnight, I’d charge it with something—”coating while white?”—wouldn’t you?
12. Who’d win in a scoff-off between Haley Fitzgerald (Noma Dumezweni) and Annalise Keating?
13. Does anyone have worse luck with husbands than Nicole Kidman’s characters on HBO prestige soaps?
14. I guess Caitlin Stark had pretty bad luck too, didn’t she?
15. Also, she definitely hooks up with that detective with the beard after this is all over?
16. “The Undoing Part Two: The Back-Breaking” has a nice ring to it, right?
17. If dude was a big enough deal as an oncologist to get a New York magazine cover, wouldn’t getting fired for having an affair with the gorgeous young mom of one of his patients also be a story somewhere?
18. At the very least, someone would have tweeted or something about it, right?
19. I guess what I’m getting at is that there’s no way in hell in the world we exist in—even the ceiling-less subworld that they exist in—that she doesn’t know he was fired.
20. So between this thing and the “I’ve never heard of the ocean before” thing, is the takeaway here that the wich are just really dumb?