I’m Black. I love Popeyes. My Black love for Popeyes is further proven by the fact that I want to put an apostrophe in Popeyes (ya know, like Popeye’s) so badly and I keep having to erase it. Every. Single. Time. Apostrophes were unnecessary? That’s Black love.
Anyway, I love Popeye’s—fuck it, the apostrophe stays—and especially their tenders. And if you order tenders you are probably going to ask for some sauce(s). You know what I hate more than other things? I hate when I order Popeye’s tenders—now I’m just being gratuitous—on, like DoorDash, and they forget my dipping sauces. Whew, chile. Anyway, Popeyes—God ain’t done with me yet—has, according to its website, six signature sauces and two seafood sauces.
Well, I like all of their sauces, including the seafood sauces. But everyone can’t be the best. There can only be one...No. 1. So let’s rank their sauces.
1. Barbecue
2. Bayou Buffalo
3. Sweet Heat
4. Blackened Ranch
5. Cocktail
6. Tarter
7. Buttermilk Ranch
8. Mardi Gras Mustard
Fight me, bro.