Picture it: a Sicily-themed nook, where a Becky sits scrolling through her “Turning Lululemons Into Lemonade” Pinterest board with a self-satisfied smirk on her face. All of a sudden, she receives a DM from her girl Karen with an interesting proposition: a hit-for-hit battle on Instagram Live.
It’s a timely proposition since both women have been trending lately.
As VSB Editor-In-Chief Damon Young recently explained via his revived Explainer series, “A ‘Karen’ is basically a graduated Becky who’s extremely aware of her privilege and weaponizes it. A Becky convinces herself—and attempts to convince others—that her whiteness doesn’t matter. A Karen doesn’t even bother to fake it. She knows it’s her Big Joker and plays it whenever necessary.”
As you may know, Instagram Live battles are all the rage right now, so I figured I’d share an exclusive playlist from the Karen vs. Becky battle. And what better battle to emulate than the most fun battle we’ve witnessed thus far, T-Pain ‘Verzuz’ Lil Jon? For our purposes, Becky will be the “Lil Jon,” since that term came out first, and Karen will be the “T-Pain” of this battle.
Oh, and Julie Bindel’s “slur” tweet is the equivalent of the beat drop. Speaking of which, before we start, a short disclaimer: I can’t be a Karenist, Goodfellas is in my Top 5.
OK. Let’s go.
Karen
- “(You’re One of the) Good Ones”
- “Low (Ugg Boots With the Fur)”
- “Up Down (I Can Call the Cops All Day)”
- “Booty Werk (One Twerk Class At A Time)”
- “I’m So Hood (I Live in Brooklyn!)”
- “Got My Daddy’s Money”
- “Go Hard for Whole Foods”
- “Hey Baby (Drop It to the Marble Floors)”
- “5 O’Clock (Is Zumba Class)”
- “The Girl Boss”
- “Jer (Short For Jerry) Sprunger”
- “Kiss, Kiss Your Job Goodbye, Buddy”
- “Can’t Believe It, I Didn’t Get My Way”
- “2 Stepmom (Cool Mom) Remix”
- “I’m An Adorable Flirt”
- “Blame It on the Black People Minding Their Business and Having Fun”
- “Bartender, Please Make Mine a Skinny Cocktail”
- “I’m in Luv (Wit a 25% Tipper)”
- “Buy You a Low-Calorie Drank (Shawty Snapple)”
- “All I Do Is Win Thanks to the Very Same Affirmative Action I Blame Black People For”
Becky
- “Get Low for Lululemon”
- “Yeah! I’m Calling the Manager”
- “Not-Too-Salty Shaker”
- “No Problem With Black People”
- “Throw It Up (Get The Fuck Out the SoHo Club)”
- “Damn! (Country Club Mix)”
- “Tour (Hair Braided in Jamaica Remix)”
- “The White Woman Tears Anthem”
- “I Don’t Give a… Fuck If I Dance on the 1 and 3”
- “Let’s Go Get Fro-Yo”
- “Freek-a-Leek Dip”
- “Pinterest Goodies”
- “Some Mixed Kids Haircut”
- “80% Lean Back”
- “Gaslightolina”
- “Espresso Shots”
- “Blow the Whistle on the Black Man in My Gentrified Neighborhood”
- “Lovers and Black Friends”
- “Snap Yo Fingers to Get Some Good Service in Here, Because You Were Told by Applecare”
- “Turn Down My White Feminism for What”
The two women also have an unreleased track together called, “The New LA Rams Logo Appropriated My Haircut” featuring up-and-coming artist Bhad Black Boyfriend, but you didn’t hear that from me.
The above playlist isn’t currently available on any major streaming platforms, but I’m currently in talks with TIDAL. OK, I’m lying, no I’m not. Or am I? You know what, I’m going to need you to stop giving me the third degree! May I speak with your manager?!