There are times when the media will be reporting on a crime story, and as we sit there taking in all the details of the crime—whether horrific or just stupid in nature—we are saying a silent prayer that the suspect is not black.
Don’t bother lying. We all have done it. We all do it. It’s OK to admit that.
We don’t want to hear anyone talking shit about our people, and we definitely don’t want to add any ammunition to the stupid arguments that are made about us when it comes to crime. Periodt.
All of that said, there is a story this week out of California’s Bay Area that is so hilarious, I am hoping the person who did it is, in fact, black.
The Los Angeles Times reports that a driver trying to avoid paying a freeway toll in Marin County covered his license plate with the sticker from a pound of teriyaki chicken wings he purchased at Safeway.
He. Put. A. Chicken. Sticker. On. His. License. Plate. To. Avoid. The. Toll.
How black is that?
Even the California Highway Patrol was like, Dawg.
The agency posted the picture of the license plate with the sticker in place with the caption “From the ‘we couldn’t even make this up’ department.
When I posted this in our work Slack, I said, “Please let them be black.”
Maiysha Kai, managing editor of The Glow Up, responded “PLEASE.”
We all thought the story was hilarious.
A CHP sergeant pulled over a driver in a white Ford Mustang around 8 p.m. Tuesday night because he noticed the license plate on the car was partially obscured. CHP wrote on Facebook that they were in an area where people frequently cover their license plates to avoid paying tolls.
“Well, sure enough, the driver had used his receipt from a pound of Teriyaki Chicken Wings he had bought at Safeway earlier in the day, ripped it in half and used it to cover two digits of both the front and rear plate.”
The driver was found to be driving on a suspended license. He was cited for that and for the obstructed plate, and his vehicle was impounded.
Listen. I know the guy was winging it, but this is pretty hilarious.
The real crime is that a pound of Safeway teriyaki wings is $8.99.
The Richmond-San Rafael Bridge goes through Contra Costa and Marin Counties. According to its website, Contra Costa County has an estimated population of 1,149,363—of which just under 100,000 are black. As of July 2017, Marin County had a population of 260,955 according to the U.S. Census. Just 2.8 percent of the population was black.
I only took the required statistics class in school, and I only studied to pass the tests, so I am by no means a wizard at this. I am just praying that there is some sort of probability that the person who did this was black.
Because sir, you are my hero.