The Apocalypse is Nigh: Crocs Created a High Heel

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Just when you were wondering what the 53 percent would be wearing to vote in this year’s midterm elections, Crocs has the answer, creating a high heel so that they can continue to vote against their self-interests in style.

I kid, I kid ... kind of. But seriously: As if it wasn’t terrifying enough when Crocs collaborated with Balenciaga on an $850 platform monstrosity last fall, now the brand has produced something absolutely no one asked for a high-heeled mule in its trademark rubber, which they’ve dubbed the “Cyprus V Heel.”

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But even more terrifying? These bad boys, which originally retailed for $44.99 (about $44.98 more than they’re worth) are purportedly sold out, no longer appearing on the Crocs website and now being resold for over $22o on Amazon.

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Frankly, I’m struck speechless at the mere prospect of seeing these on the street this summer, but if I could muster just one word, it would simply be:

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Why?