New Music From ‘MAGA’ Kanye Asks Black People to Pull Themselves Up by Their Yeezy Bootstraps

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On Friday the artist formerly known as Kanye West dropped two new tracks that prove he is still a musical prodigy, while cementing the widespread opinion that he has gone full “MAGA.”

After turning his website into a one-song musical player, Kanye Trump dug into his crate of soul anthems to sample the 1973 song “Liberty” by Amnesty. The result, titled “Lift Yourself,” is essentially a musical interpretation of Ben Carson’s wet dreams, explaining how shiftless Negroes can extricate themselves from the scourge of poverty and crime by pulling themselves up by their bootstraps. The snippet selected by Kanye explains it all:

It isn’t hard to see
The hangups we have today
We need to strive for more liberty
Lift yourself up on your feet, let’s get it on

The song shows that Kanye is still a master of transforming obscure R&B songs into classic hip-hop tracks, but it also reveals that he might be smoking crystal meth out of a rattlesnake bong. Everything devolves into batshit craziness when he starts rapping. Here is my attempt to transcribe the lyrics:

Woopity scoop. Scoop ditty woop
Woopty scoopty poop
Poopty scoopty doopty woop
Woopty pooptity scoop

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While many have lambasted the lyrics as nonsense, I sincerely think this track is a guide for his rhyme scheme over which he will eventually compose dope lyrics about black-on-black crime in Chicago. After seeing him wearing that “Make America Great Again” hat, I’m sure that “Lift Yourself” is a plea for black people to stand for the national anthem.

Not satisfied with the implication that he has lost his motherfucking mind (which, by the way, is not an insult. “You done lost your goddamn mind” is an insult meant to disparage someone. Losing your motherfucking mind is a medical diagnosis), Kanye dropped another joint, “Ye vs. the People,” on Los Angeles’ Power 106 FM on Friday night.

“Ever since Trump won, it proved I could be president,” the track begins. The song features T.I. going back and forth with Yeezy as the Louis Vuitton Don explains that he is embracing Donald Trump to show us something about peace, equality and ... you know what? It’s really not clear.

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In fact, it’s a schizophrenic mess. Here are some lyrical excerpts:

I never stopped fighting for the people.
Actually wearing the hat showed people that we’re equal.

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I don’t know what this means. Kanye is referring to a picture of himself wearing a “MAGA” hat. But are there black people who want equality who are wearing “MAGA” hats? I’d rather eat sugar on my grits with a side of Kris Jenner’s potato salad than wear a “MAGA” hat.

That’s the problem with this damn nation
All blacks gotta be Democrats, man we ain’t made it off the plantation

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I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Kanye has a point here. They say even a broken clock is right twice a day, which is not true. A stopped clock is right twice a day. A broken clock reasons away the flaws in the Democratic Party by embracing the even worse Republican Party, which is like making a song about gold diggers and then marrying a Kardashian.

Only an idiot would do that.

“Make America Great Again”
had a negative perception.
I took it, wore it and rocked it,
gave it a new direction.

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Dude is delusional. He goes on to say that he was “in the sunken place” until he decided to do his own thing, adding, “A lotta people agree with me, but too afraid to speak up.”

Look, guys, I know it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday (I think I just made that up), but Kanye is gone. We have to come to grips with it. I don’t even think the Kardashians are to blame (although Reggie Bush’s knee, Ray J’s album sales and Lamar Odom’s Viagra crack pipe would beg to differ).

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I think this has always been Kanye. We just overlooked it because he made such dope music.

Maybe it has nothing to do with his mother’s death (which was a decade ago, by the way); maybe he has always been this guy. Maybe former President Barack Obama was right when he tried to tell us Kanye was an asshole years ago. Maybe genius requires being an asshole. Steve Jobs was an asshole. Frank Lloyd Wright was an asshole, too.

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Or maybe Ye Kardashian is actually suffering from mental illness. I miss the old Kanye. The College Dropout Kanye. The original asshole Kanye. If I could give any advice to Kanye, I’d tell him:

“You really need to woopity woop, because you’re acting like a real scoopity doopity doop right now.”

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But I bet his new song featuring Post Malone and Richard Spencer will be fire.

May he rest in peace.