No one wants to go into the Oval Office and tell the president that he no longer has to act like this really wealthy business tycoon who fires people willy-nilly. On Tuesday, Donald Trump not only fired the secretary of state—and stand-in for every daytime soap opera’s mean oil baron—Rex Tillerson, but he also got rid of some guy named John McEntee, who was his personal assistant.
According to the Wall Street Journal, McEntee was let go because of issues surrounding his security clearance. McEntee could be heard screaming, “This is bullshit! Jared Kushner’s ass couldn’t get clearance to ride on a Greyhound bus, but I’m fired?”
Fine, McEntee wasn’t heard screaming, but his ass was reportedly escorted out of the White House—according to one official, he didn’t even have a chance to take any of his belongings, not even his jacket—because escorting people out of places where they have been fired is mad degrading and I’m here for it. I want to have security at my next house party just so I can randomly walk through and ask that someone who doesn’t use a coaster be escorted out and then look at them like an evil slave owner as they feebly attempt to explain with their eyes that it was all a mistake.
Does any of us know who McEntee is? Of course not. Does it matter that he’s been fired? Well, kind of. The Trump administration has been a mess since infancy. Clearly the president is in over his head in policy he doesn’t understand, and anyone who tries to tell him different is getting the big boot. Speaking of big boots, I’m totally fine with cutting Florida off the map at any point ... because ... Florida.
For those who care, McEntee had been with the president during his campaign, and he also carried a messenger bag over his shoulder and not across his body. Men who don’t put the messenger-bag strap across their body can’t be trusted, and McEntee’s ill-advised handling of his messenger bag proves that he didn’t deserve to be in the Beverly Hillbillies White House.
A White House official told WSJ, “It’s not going to be great for morale.”
Welp, that’s it, folks, nothing more to see here. McEntee was at the White House and now he isn’t, and while none of us knew who he was, he will be missed. I guess. Also, something tells me that Trump isn’t done letting people go. He’s like the uncle who once threw three touchdowns in a junior varsity nonconference game and can’t stop talking about it at every Thanksgiving even though he’s 74 years old and was in high school in the 1950s. Trump’s glory days were when he was on The Apprentice, and it looks like no one wants to tell him that he doesn’t have to fire people each week.