The 20 Whitest Things White People Say to Black People, Ranked

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20. “Oh, you’re married?”

19. “Is that your hair?”

18. “I don’t see color.”

17. “Can you turn that down?”

16. “DUUUUUDE, TAKE A SHOT WITH ME!!!”

15. “This section is reserved.”

14. “He doesn’t bite.”

13. “I voted for Obama.”

12. “Yeah, you’re black. But not like, black black.”

11. “If you can say it, why can’t I?”

10. “Where’s your manager?”

9. “You live in this neighborhood?”

8. “I’m calling human resources.”

7. “Do you need hot sauce with that?”

6. “Can I touch your hair?”

5. “Security!”

4. “My best friend is black.”

3. What about black-on-black crime?”

2. “I’m calling the police.”

1. “I don’t have a racist bone in my body.”