10 Things The Video For FourFiveSeconds Could Also Very Easily Be

1. An ad for Levi’s new “Naked” jeans, which would basically just be spandex with pockets and pleats. Suggested Reading Inside Madam C.J. Walker’s Villa on The Hudson River What We Now Know About Chadwick Boseman’s Heartbreaking Snub at the 2021 Oscars What People Are Wearing and Doing At The Houston Rodeo Video will return…

1. An ad for Levi’s new “Naked” jeans, which would basically just be spandex with pockets and pleats.

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2. The intro for a late 90’s television drama set in a high school in either Baltimore or the Bronx. This drama would have aired on Fox, it would have starred Keri Russell (as “Ms. Johnson”), Darius McCrary (as “Tonka Truck”), and Dennis Haybert (as “Principal Jenkins”), it would have been nominated for a ton of Emmys but would have never won anything, it would have lasted four seasons, and it would have been called Late to Class.

3. A video for a benefit single about either childhood obesity or endangered alligators.

4. A porno that, for whatever reason, is airing on TBS.

5. A dream sequence in one of those movies starring Jude Law that you keep meaning to watch every time it comes on HBO but keep getting distracted by things like “literally anything else” and “oxygen.”

6. The world’s most depressing twerk video.

7. Something some consistently insufferable grad student at Lehigh or Carnegie Mellon would submit as their final thesis. And it would be titled “Ferguson.”

8. The image that pops into your head right after you die. The tenor of Rihanna’s voice will determine whether you’re headed to Heaven or Hell.

9. The first clip of the “…and this is when things got bad” part of the Behind the Music special about Kanye in 2037.

10. Blue Ivy’s directorial debut.

Straight From The Root

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